


Distance

by ConjureUpaSmile



Series: Like the Old Man Said [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Civil War Fix-It, Established Relationship, I reject your reality and substitute my own, Insomnia, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 10:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7311178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConjureUpaSmile/pseuds/ConjureUpaSmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Not even a week had passed since Steve and his BFF had completely demolished his suit and slunk off into the shadows and already Tony missed the hell out of him.  Steve, that is.  He still couldn’t really bring himself to give a rat’s ass about Barnes except for the fact that he was important to Steve.</p>
<p>Tony snapped the phone shut and set it to the side.  On second thought, he pushed it a few inches further away.  He was pretty sure it wasn’t possible, but he didn’t want to take any chances that the archaicness was contagious.  Satisfied that the flip phone was far enough away so that his shiny new StarkTech was safe, Tony turned back to the carefully creased paper again.</p>
<p>Tony read the letter a fourth time.  His fingers twitched."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the fallout after the Civil War, Tony finds himself more alone than he thought possible.  Hopefully, the ends will justify the means.  It has to be worth it.  Right?</p>
<p>Written as part of the "Like The Old Man Says" series, but can be read as a standalone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Distance

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Расстояние](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799985) by [Unforgiven2205](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforgiven2205/pseuds/Unforgiven2205)



> Well, welcome to my fantasy world. Please enjoy your stay. This was written to "fix" the end of CA:CW, but it fits into my "Like The Old Man Says" series decently well. 
> 
> And now I can sleep at night.
> 
> So, win-win, right??
> 
> As always, un-beta'ed

Tony sat on his bed, cold and crispy made. It hadn’t seen much use at all in the last several months. Ever since they admitted their feelings for each other and formally started a romantic relationship, he and Steve had taken up residence in Steve’s cramped but cozy quarters. Now, since the Civil War, Tony was just avoiding beds in general. 

He closed his eyes and allowed his head to rest against his fisted hands. 

Please let the phone ring.

His hand curled around the carefully printed letter that he had received over a month ago.

Please let it ring.

 

___

 

Tony read the letter. When he was done, he read it again. 

Tony felt anxiety and excitement bubble under his skin. This was the moment he had been waiting for ever since his world was turned on its ear. 

He had practiced this. He knew what he was supposed to do. Okay, so he had probably been giving it about 74% of his attention at the time. Still, that’s 31% more attention than most people get from him. 

Tony shook his head to clear out the jumble of thoughts threatening to distract him. He could do this. He practiced. It was basically science. Tony was born for this.

Tony set the letter down. He read it a third time, drumming his fingers against his sternum where the reactor used to sit.

Tony opened the phone. The screen of the truly horrendous excuse for a communication device lit up to proudly display, “MAY 06, 1622.”

Of course it would fucking be in military time. Somehow that particular detail was just as maddening as it was endearing.

Not even a week had passed since Steve and his BFF had completely demolished his suit and slunk off into the shadows and already Tony missed the hell out of him. Steve, that is. He still couldn’t really bring himself to give a rat’s ass about Barnes except for the fact that he was important to Steve.

Tony snapped the phone shut and set it to the side. On second thought, he pushed it a few inches further away. He was pretty sure it wasn’t possible, but he didn’t want to take any chances that the archaicness was contagious. Satisfied that the flip phone was far enough away so that his shiny new StarkTech was safe, Tony turned back to the carefully creased paper again.

Tony read the letter a fourth time. His fingers twitched.

“FRIDAY, lock it down.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Tony heard the audible click of his office door locking and the windows tinted around him. “I hope this goes without say, FRI, but all footage of the next ten minutes never existed.” He couldn’t be too safe.

“Consider it done, boss.”

“Good girl.” She wasn’t JARVIS, but she was learning.

Sure that he had privacy, Tony grabbed a blank piece of paper and started copying Steve’s words, careful to keep them verbatim. It seemed like a sin to mar Steve’s carefully printed letter. 

As soon as he was sure he had it copied, Tony circled the two numbers. 18. One. 

Easy enough, right? The “one” was a bit ambiguous. Tony squinted at the letter. He rolled his eyes when he noticed that the “A” in “Accords” was capitalized. Of course he would risk sneaking that in there as if Tony wouldn’t know that Steve solely uses military time.

Satisfied, Tony started counting words. 

5…2…9…1…9…7. 

First sequence done. That was easy. Second sequence.

7…4…19…18.

He counted the words probably five or six times to ensure that he got it right, then repeated the sequence.

The last sentence didn’t fit. Was there supposed to be a third sequence? Had Tony screwed it up? He recounted. Everything else made sense. 

“So no matter what, I promise if you – if you need us…if you need me, I’ll be there.”

Tony didn’t care what anyone else thought about the man, Steve Rogers was a cocky, arrogant bastard and Tony couldn’t help but smile.

 

___

 

 

Tony was in a meeting the first time the phone rang. He nearly jumped out of his skin, but somehow managed to politely excuse himself without Pepper giving him more than two seconds of death glare. That in and of itself was a victory.

He could feel it vibrating against his chest where it sat in his inner pocket. The burner phone completely ruined the lines of his suit, but Tony would be damned to be caught without it. You never knew when it might ring. You could be, say, in the middle of a merger meeting. 

Tony hoped he didn’t look too harried as he ducked into an empty conference room and locked the door behind him.

“FRIDAY!” Tony buzzed as the interior and exterior windows both dimmed.

“One step ahead of you, boss.”

Tony couldn’t even manage a response. He had privacy. 

Tony ripped the phone open and hit the green accept button. His head swam and he sunk into the nearest chair, cradling his precious cargo with both hands. 

Tony bit down on the inside of his cheek to silence any words that might attempt to escape and gingerly lifted the burner phone to his ear.

Silence.

Then, a small cough.

Tony blew out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, collapsing back into his chair utterly exhausted. 

Steve was there. Steve was on the other end of the line. There was so much that Tony wanted to say, so much that he needed to say. He just bit his cheek harder. The amount of relief he felt was completely ridiculous. He could laugh, or maybe cry. Possibly both. Wouldn’t that look perfectly sane? Tony couldn’t stop the small chuckle that escaped from his throat.

Funny thing was, he could have sworn he heard it returned.

Damn. What time zone was Wakanda in? Was it five hours or seven hours ahead? Either way, it was sometime between one and three in the morning. No wonder Steve had called. 

It took nearly ten minutes, but soon Tony could hear soft, steady breaths come across the phone line. He clutched the phone tighter and propped himself up on the table, head in his hands. 

He wasn’t going to cry. Stark men don’t cry. Maybe all of this was a bad dream. Maybe any minute he’d wake up with Steve’s arm holding him tight against Steve’s chest, super soldier whispering comforting nonsense to chase away the nightmares. 

And this…this was a fucking nightmare.

Tony listened to the deep, even breaths for 26 minutes. Finally, he did what he knew he had to do. He hit the end button. 

I. Really. To. Down. (I’ve been depressed)

 

___

 

 

Tony stared at himself in the mirror. Just 21 more days. Really, it was more like 20 days and a wake up…and then a full day after that wake up. Not including tonight. 

No big deal. Who cared? Tony certainly didn’t care. Twenty-one days was basically nothing. He could make it go even faster by getting caught up in his work. 

“Boss, you have an incoming call from General Ross. Should I patch him through?” FRIDAY’s voice rang out through the bathroom, snapping Tony out of his daze.

“Yeah, sure. Audio only.” Tony waited a beat before calling out, “What do you want, Ross?”

“What I want, Stark, is for you to quit sending me out on wild goose chases for Spider Man.” Tony grinned. Sending Ross’s men to new and exciting locations had become one of his favorite pastimes.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like shawarma? Everyone likes shawarma. I think if you just gave it another chance—“

“Cut the crap, Stark,” Ross cut him off. What a shame. Tony thought that their shawarma conversation was really going places. “While you’re at it, I need you to review those files.”

That wiped the grin right off of Tony’s face. In fact, it made bile rise up in his throat.

“I told you,” the mechanic cooly stated, “I’m not helping you pick out a new Captain America. There isn’t another Captain America.”

“We have the shield, therefore we have Captain America. You have 48 hours to read the files and pick your favorite candidate, or we’re picking one without you, Stark.” A faint click signaled that Ross hadn’t wanted to hear Tony’s smartass reply. That was probably a good thing, as Tony wasn’t sure he had one. 

Tony scrubbed his hands over his face, meeting the bloodshot gaze of his reflection once again. The sun was just starting to peek around his curtains. Not even two months ago, Tony would have gotten an earful for going to bed this late. Hell, it had to actually be a reasonable hour if Ross was up and making phone calls. 

Maybe it was time to make a phone call of his own.

Tony made his way between the red and blue sheets of the modest full size bed one floor below his penthouse. The pillows still smelled like him.

He opened the flip phone, hit call, and set it on the pillow next to his head.

It rang four times before the call timer popped up on the screen, signifying a connection.

Tony cleared his throat. A faint hum confirmed that Steve heard it and Tony smiled. It was almost as soft as a breath, but the mechanic heard a distinct word come across the line.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” Tony breathed back without hesitation. No point in sending everything to shit over a particularly sleepless night. 

He closed his eyes and tried to relax, imagining that Africa wasn’t so damn far away. He imagined that it wouldn’t be so long before everything was right again. He imagined that the Civil War had never happened and the Avengers weren’t shattered.

It wasn’t working. Tony may be a master of deluding himself, but this was too much a stretch for even him. It was then that faint humming reminded him of the phone on the pillow next to him.

He recognized the tune. Tony couldn’t stop the chuckle that bubbled up his throat. Star Spangled Man With A Plan, indeed. 

The humming grew louder and the genius could swear he heard a smile in Steve’s voice. He closed his eyes again and imagined a little harder.

Replaced. Maybe. I. Guess. Parents. Can. (They might be replacing me. I guess the UN can.}

 

___

 

 

Tony was kinetic energy personified. God knows that the mechanic couldn’t sit still even on his best days. Now he was outright vibrating with nervous anticipation. Odin help anyone who dared stand in his way. With only 12 days left, nothing short of nuclear apocalypse was going to slow him down.

On second thought, he better not tempt the universe. 

“C’mon, pooh bear! Only three more steps, then you get to turn around and walk back the way you came again!” Tony bounced on the balls of his feet at the edge of the railing, hands shoved into his jacket pockets where he played with the burner phone.

“Great. Sounds fantastic,” Rhodey replied dryly. “If I’m a good boy, will you let me do it again tomorrow?”

“Only if you’re really good,” Tony deadpanned. Rhodey dutifully stepped forward, sweating despite the smoothness of his gait. He was improving, the genius noted. Each step had to be near torture, but Rhodey no longer stumbled or hunched over as he made his way down the railing. 

Instead of turning back, Tony’s oldest friend released his grip on the railing and continued plodding forward towards the brunette.

“That’s right,” Tony cooed as he held out his arms. “Come to Papa! You can do it big boy!” Rhodey rolled his eyes with a little too much effort and Tony couldn’t help but continue prodding.

“I’m so proud! Baby’s first steps! Did you get all that, FRIDAY? We’ll have to save this home movie to show his future prom dates.” Rhodey just shoved away Tony’s outstretched arms and collapsed heavily against the nearest wall.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but this baby took his first solo steps on Monday,” Rhodey panted, grinning despite his exhaustion.

“What?” Tony wasn’t able to hide the surprise and hurt from his voice. “Where was I?”

Rhodey just shrugged. “Saving the world?”

“No, Monday I was…Monday…” Tony tapped his sternum where the arc reactor used to sit. “Where was I Monday? Doesn’t matter! I should have been here.”

“Look,” Rhodey rolled his eyes, “I love you, man, but you don’t have to babysit me. I told you that I’m getting through this. I’m here, I’m alive, and I’ll walk again. All of that is thanks to you. Cut yourself some slack.” 

Tony was tempted to shake Rhodey’s hand off of his shoulder. What was left of his ability to fake a pleasant attitude was quickly evaporating into the air around him. Everything was for shit. He had let everyone down and he was continuing to let those down that he still had left. He had missed Rhodey’s first steps. Vision wouldn’t leave his room in the compound. Steve was…gone. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“You need to forget about him.”

Rhodey’s words yanked Tony from his thoughts, finally forcing him to meet his oldest friend’s gaze. 

“What? Who?” Tony tried.

“You know who I’m talking about.” Rhodey didn’t let up. “Steve stabbed you in the back. You need to forget about him, Tones. You gave him everything and he spat in your face. He chose Bucky. As hard as that is for you to process, it’s the truth. Steve never loved you.”

“Shut. Up.” Tony almost didn’t recognize his own voice, his pulse pounding in his ears. The words had hissed out through his teeth, escaping despite his best attempts to tamp the anger away.

“Tony—“

“No!” Tony’s will broke. “You don’t get to say those things about him! You don’t know! You don’t know him. You have exactly zero right to pass any kind of judgement right now, seeing as it was your bad call that got you into this position in the first place.” 

The genius was shaking with anger, but that didn’t stop two arms from snaking around his neck and pulling him into Rhodey’s embrace. He allowed the contact for a moment before pulling away and heading for the door.

“C’mon! Don’t leave,” Rhodey called. “You don’t need to be alone right now.”

Tony paused, briefly considering the offer. Then, he shook his head. 

“You know what? I think I do.” FRIDAY was definitely improving, Tony noted as she helpfully opened the elevator doors. She took him to the main floor and Tony let his feet guide him back to the room that was both so familiar and yet so lifeless now that it was unoccupied. 

Tony kicked off his shoes and collapsed onto the blue and red sheets. What did it matter what Rhodey thought? Who cared if it was the middle of the day? He pushed his face into the pillows that smelled a little less like Steve with every passing day.

The inner pocket of his jacket buzzed.

Tony’s stomach lurched as he fumbled for the phone. It was only the second time it had rang, which surely could not be a good sign. Finally getting his hands on it, he flipped it open.

“Hello! Hello? God. Shit.” He attempted to soften his voice, only mildly successful. “Hello? Okay? You okay?”

“Fine! Fine,” came the hasty reply. “I’m…fine.”

Tony blew out a breath. He was too fucking old for all of this. 

Turning his attention back to the sorry excuse for a cell phone, Tony could hear Steve breathing too hard on the other end. 

Twelve days. Twelve fucking days and Tony was about to call an end to all of this. It just wasn’t worth it. 

“You?”

It was so soft that Tony almost missed it, carried away by his own fears.

“I’m…fine,” he replied. Maybe they would look back at this moment an laugh, both of them so far away from ‘fine’ that it could barely even be considered hyperbole. 

Ross had his Accords. The Avengers were shattered and scattered. Their families, their family, oceans apart. Bruce was gone. Clint was gone. Insect guy was gone, not like he mattered. Steve was gone. Thor was god knows where. Gone, too, Tony supposed. Rhodey went and crippled himself. Natasha was, for all intents and purposes, unreadable and untrustworthy. Wanda was one white cat away from being a supervillan. What exactly was fine?

“I…” Steve started then trailed off.

Silence bloomed, but Tony could hear the rest of the blonde’s unfinished sentence. It was the same thing that Tony wanted to say.

“I know. Me too.”

Myself. One. Only. Us. (I’m coming alone. It’ll only be us.)

 

\---

 

0058

Damn.

Tony paced. Maybe he was wrong. He pulled out the well worn copy he had made of Steve’s letter and the circles he had placed around the numbers it contained.

18\. One. A.

Tony looked at the clock on the flip phone again. 0058. Damn. Maybe it was wrong?

He checked his watch. 12:59! He grinned in anxious victory before glancing back down at the flip phone to see that it, too, had rolled over. 

JUNE 18, 0059

One more minute and FRIDAY would mysteriously shut down all audio and visual feeds. Tony would be in a technology black out for exactly one hour. 

That is unless he said the word “traitor.” That specific word was FRIDAY’s cue to cut the bullshit and turn everything back on. Obviously Tony was praying to Thor that it wouldn’t happen.

Actually, he was really hoping that he would get to say “tackle box,” which…had the opposite effect, to put it politely. Now that he thought of it, that word was going to be a lot harder to squeeze into conversation casually. Maybe Steve wouldn’t notice. 

‘Is that a tackle box in your pocket?’ had a nice ring to it.

To the average person, the clock rolling over to 0100 would have been imperceivable. Tony, however, didn’t even to need to look at the technologic dinosaur clutched firmly in his fist to know that the time had come. Somewhere deep in his core, he could feel his AI shutting down to skeleton surveillance.

 

Tony Stark waited in deafening silence.

 

By 0102, he was ready to say his safe word just so that he didn’t have to feel so completely alone. Rhodey, he had sent off for a meeting with Dr. Cho at Stark Tower. Vision wasn’t hard to convince that the fallen hero needed both a physical and emotional escort. Natasha was out searching for Bruce. Pepper was…who knows where. And that short list made up the entirety of people that Tony could call “friendly.” Without FRIDAY, Tony was more alone than he had been since 1991.

That’s how Tony ended up sitting on Steve’s – their, he corrected himself – unused bed in the middle of the night. The last month and some change had seemed to take an entire lifetime and he wasn’t exactly sure what he would do if tonight was a bust. What he did know was that it wouldn’t be pretty.

There might be casualties.

Please let it ring.

Tony wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting and pleading with the universe when a hand clamped down firmly over his mouth.

In full fight mode, the mechanic threw an elbow back and made to turn, but another arm snaked around his middle, pinning Tony to a familiar solid chest.

“Tony! It’s me!”

Steve’s words were completely unnecessary. Tony was still fighting, but now it was for a completely different reason. As soon as Steve loosened his grip, Tony was turning in his grasp and touching every part of the super soldier that he could get his hands on to prove that this was real.

“Tackle box! God! Tackle box! I thought you weren’t coming! Jesus. Tackle box! Where the hell have you been? You said 1 AM! I’ve missed you so fucking much! Tackle box! God, Steve!” Was it presumptive to go ahead and extend their privacy a little longer? Tony couldn’t much care. Steve was home.

“I, uh…” Steve stammered, obviously confused, “I tackle box you, too?”

Tony laughed and it felt good. Finally, fucking finally, he leaned forward and felt the soft press of Steve’s lips against his own. It felt like the first full breath he’d taken in months.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Steve smiled goofily. “I wasn’t sure exactly where you’d be.”

At. Compound. Around. A. Avenger. Mine. (I’ll meet you at the compound. I’ll find you.)

“You would have had an easier time if you hadn’t insisted upon being so damn cryptic,” Tony can’t help but point out. “But no! You had to be all, ‘What if someone breaks the code, Tony?’ And ‘Our birthdays aren’t exactly the most clever password, Tony.’”

Tony could have gone on, but kissing Steve was definitely more important.

“Hmm” Steve hummed with mock seriousness. “You’re right, Tony. After all, you are a genius. Next time, I’ll just send you an email detailing the specifics.”

“God! Next time!” Just the thought of a next time gave Tony acid reflux. He waited a beat before he asked, “Do you think they bought it?”

“Christ, I hope so,” Steve replied, pulling Tony closer. It seemed that the super soldier was just as eager to assure himself that this moment was indeed real. 

“So, the world thinks that they have the Avengers scattered, smothered, covered, and served up on a silver platter. You have Ross and Hydra right where you want them,” Tony summed up. “What’s the plan, Cap?”

He felt Steve grin against the side of his face. He was going to say it, wasn’t he?

“Don’t freak out…”


	2. Steve's Hidden Message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The code:   
> 5-2-9-1-9-7-7-4-19-18
> 
> These are Tony's and Steve's birthdays, respectively: May 29th, 1970, and July 4th, 1918.
> 
> The number 18 is excluded from the word count because it is written as a number. "One" is counted because it is written out. 
> 
> The date and time are given as the only two numbers in the note.

Tony,

I’m glad you’re back **at** the **compound** , I don’t like the idea of you rattling **around** **a** mansion by yourself. We all need family. The **Avengers** are yours, maybe more so than **mine**. I’ve been on my own since _**I**_ was 18. I never _**really**_ fit in anywhere – even in the Army. My faith is in people, I guess. Individuals. And I’m happy _**to**_ say for the most part, they haven’t let me down. Which is why I can’t let them _**down**_ either. Locks can be **replaced** , but – **maybe** they shouldn’t. I know I hurt you, Tony. **I** **guess** I thought by not telling you about your **parents** I was sparing you, but…I **can** see now I was really sparing **_myself_**. I’m sorry. Hopefully **_one_** day you can understand. I wish we agreed on the Accords, I really do. I know you were **_only_** doing what you believe in, and that’s all any of **_us_** can do, it’s all any of us should.  So no matter what, I promise if you – if you need us…if you need me, I’ll be there.

\- Steve

At compound around a avenger mine (I'll meet you at the compound.  I'll find you.)

I really to down (I've been depressed.)

Replaced maybe I guess parents can (They might be replacing me.  I guess the UN can.)

Myself one only us (I'm coming alone. It'll only be us.)

 

No matter what, I promise if if you need us, if you need me, I’ll be there.

 

Numbers: 18, 1A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Pointedly avoids eye contact and strolls away whistling*

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope that there are folks out there that enjoyed it. The second chapter is just Steve's note with the "code" and "hidden message" broken down. 
> 
> Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!


End file.
